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QUIZ: Is This Quote from a CDC Handwashing PSA or Shakespeare’s Macbeth?

  1. Washing hands with soap and water is the best way to get rid of germs in most situations. If soap and water are not readily available, you can use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.

Answer: That’s the CDC!

  1. Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red

REVIEW: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

by A Furloughed Part-Time Restaurant Critic
 

QUIZ: Is the Banter Between Andrew and Chris Cuomo Erotically Charged, or Have You Been Inside for Too Long?

andrew and chris cuomo

1. When Andrew was interviewed on Chris' show on CNN, and Chris said "I love you, I'm proud of what you're doing and how hard you're working, but no matter how hard you're working, there's always time to call Mom, she wants to hear from you": 

QUIZ: Who Said It, Winston Churchill or Charlie Chaplin?

Winston Churchill and Charlie Chaplin, side by side.

-1-

"From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic, an iron curtain has descended across the continent. Behind that line lie all the capitals of the ancient states of Central and Eastern Europe."

A) Winston Churchill

B) Charlie Chaplin

 

 

(A: That’s all Churchill, baby!)

 

-2-

[*trips and falls down an elevator shaft*]

A) Winston Churchill

B) Charlie Chaplin

 

 

Breaking: AaAaAAAAAA!!!!!!

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Area Straight Bro Worried That Lingering Handshake Sent the Wrong Message

GAINESVILLE, FL –– At a frat house gathering of Florida’s manliest men, local bro Chad “Papa Bear” Chetsky was horrified that his bro-shake lasted just a moment too long.

Thirty-Four-Day Anniversary Ideas That Will Show Him You're Clingier Than All His Exes

A romantic couple (silhouetted)
  1. Make a cute collage

  2. Take a long walk in the park

  3. Knit matching sweaters

  4. Casually email him houses you're looking at on Zillow

  5. Sign up for a family phone plan

  6. Tell him "Today it's okay, but next week let's start getting in shape for the wedding" when you see him reach for a slice of pie

QUIZ: Are You Exclusive, Or Are You Just Too Lazy to Fuck Anyone Else?

A collection of very romantic hearts
What’s your favorite thing about this person?
 
a) Their intelligence, humor, and affability 
b) Their consistent availability during the 12-4 am timeframe
 
What’s the sweetest thing they’ve ever said to you?
 
a) You make me want to be a better person, and I'm so glad to have you in my life  
b) Can you move your head? My arm is dying. 
 
When do you see each other? 
 
a) Three times a week, usually closer to weekends

Top 5 Reasons Why Your Relationship Isn’t Escalating

As cuffing season approaches, it can be difficult to assess where your relationship stands. If you want any chance at love, make sure to avoid these 5 common pitfalls.

QUIZ: Is He Ghosting You, or Is He Just A Literal Undead Spirit?

ghost man
Guys can be so difficult to figure out sometimes.  I mean, really, do you want to go on another date or do you want to suck out my life force? Will you be my beau, or are you just going to keep shouting “boooo?” Luckily, this quiz is here to help you figure out if that guy you’ve been seeing is ghosting you or if he’s just… an actual ghost.
 
When’s the last time you saw him?
A) Yesterday in the dining hall, and he avoided my eye contact…

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