and entering


The Vaccine For My Quarantine Blues is Preemptively Bagging Your Laundry


By a Former High School Valedictorian, Varsity Athlete, Number One Hottie, and Grill Order Bandit 

7 Famous Shakespeare Quotes vs. 7 Things You’ve Said During Quarantine

  • I am one who loved not wisely but too well.
  • We really shouldn’t have moved in together.
  • How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!
  • Say “thank you,” Peter. Your father is trying his best in the kitchen.
  • Nothing will come of nothing!
  • Nothing will come. Ever. Nothing.
  • Get thee to a nunnery.
  • (music) Get a bucket and a mop...

    YouTube Lets You Edit Your Recommended Videos to Help You Forget You’re Wasting Your Life on the Internet

    watching videos

    San Bruno, CA – Last week, YouTube released a new update that allows users to customize their “Recommended Videos” list after studies reported that 99% of people felt ‘crippling low self-esteem’ and ‘deep feelings of shame’ when they saw content like ‘Top 10 Fights Bachelor’ in their recommended videos, despite watching Bachelor clips for 5 hours straight beforehand.

    I’m Getting Sick of You Too

    How to Stay in Character As a Pilgrim On a Quarantined Mayflower Cruise

    Are you quarantined? On a cruise ship? While acting as religious refugees fleeing Europe for the New World in a small boat? If the answers to these three questions are correct, then we may be able to help!


    It’s Okay, No One Was Coming to Your Event Anyway


    by COVID-19

    I couldn’t help but notice the tear rolling down your cheek as you hit delete on the Facebook event for the two-week reunion of your daughter's christening over concerns of my ability to lay waste to the human species. But let's be honest. You didn’t have to do that. No one was coming anyway.