SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Harvard

17 Things to Bring to Study in Smith

Smith Campus Center 10th Floor

Are you about to pack for your day-long trip to Smith during the reading period grind? Have you been unable to fully focus regardless of floor level? If so, here is a list of tried and true crowdsourced items from FlyBy members to keep your body healthy and mind sharp at Smith!

Café Pamplona Buys the Porcellian Building for its New Clubhouse

Top 10 Tricks for Flirting Through Your Canvas Discussion Board Comments

  1. Spice things up by taking a contradictory stance. Guys and gals love nothing more than a good devil's advocate that bounces off their points.

  2. Don't be afraid to break out the thesaurus! Employ brobdingnagian lexemes so your crush is impressed with your vocabulary. 

  3. Consider leaving your comments early in the morning. If they have the canvas app, your notification will be the first thing they see when they wake up.

Breaking Study Shows Flag Above John Harvard Confirmed “Proportional”

- Cambridge, MA

 

For weeks now, handfuls of students have wondered: Why is the flag above the John Harvard  public urinal so big? Well, a new study has revealed that our alma mater’s father may have been “well endowed” in more ways than one.

Why I’m Comping SatireV

CONAN NOT ZARDOZ

There are so many whispers swirling around and all of this secrecy has been too much for me, I think it’s time to finally come clean. The rumors are true: I have re-enrolled as an undergraduate because SatireV is doing a completion-based comp this semester.

QUIZ: Which Testing Cadence Are You?

I’m an academic junior, a social senior, but most importantly, better than you.

Academic Junior Social Senior Being Better Than You

What’s that??? What year am I?  Oh you asked your friend if they were near? Well, you already got me started so...

 

*Ahem*

 

About Last Night...

Harvard President Lawrence Bacow

 

Dear Members of the Harvard Community,

It’s an age-old story: University President gets invited to an Earth and Planetary Sciences brunch to discuss sustainability research. He goes so he can tweet about it and hopefully get those Divest kids off his lawn. It’ll be over by noon, and then he can go back to burping cows with the Harvard Management Company. But all of us with an email account know that’s not how yesterday went. 

Five Questions to Ask that Aren’t “What Are You Doing This Summer”

Friends Talking
  1. How much/little money will you be earning this summer?
  2. How many internships did you get rejected from?

Harvard to Replace Spring Break with 7200 Intermittent “Wellness Minutes”

Hiker traveling along mountain trail

CAMBRIDGE, MA—After realizing that any sizable chunk of time resembling a spring break might offer too significant a relief from an online semester amidst a global pandemic, Harvard has announced that it will be reallocating the week as 7200 “wellness minutes” throughout the spring semester.

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