Nervous for First Year Orientation? Never fear! We here at the First Year Experience Office have compiled a list of answers to frequently asked questions for your convenience: 

Q: Are tea kettles permitted  in the dorms?

A: No. Ever since Samuel Adams (Class of 1740) led the Boston Tea Party, the Harvard Administration has been wary of permitting undergraduate students access to tea. In turn, tea kettles are prohibited within Harvard dormitories 

Q: Where can I go if I have a mental health concern?

By the Virgin Mary

Humanity, we need to talk about virgin-shaming.

So many entities are hurt by our callous tendency to call out others’ lack of sexual experience—me, Virgin America, the Virgin Islands, Virgin Mobile. Even olive oil is labeled as extra-virgin. How insensitive! What olive oil does or does not do in the bedroom is olive oil’s business.