"
There is going to be more food to share these holidays, following the abrupt
announcement of your father, who has since tendered his paternal resignation and
will take a new job with his secretary.
Writing with magnetic letters on your
fridge, your Dad wrote, ""After dutifully serving as your father, it is with deep
regret to inform you that I will no longer. From here on out, I'm with Laverne,
my secretary.""