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Scientology Brings Suit Against Producers of Battlestar Galactica

The Church of Scientology has brought suit in Los Angeles's 9th Circuit Court against the science fiction hit "Battlestar Galactica," citing high level "crazy space shit" as "clear and persistent infringement of copyrighted intellectual property." The Church also cites "awesome fucking laser cannons" that come directly from trademarked thetan reduction procedures.

The suit claims Scientology has proprietary ownership over flying cars, unitard tunics, techno music, and the way David Bowie looked for most of the 1980s""all of which may, or may not, be present in Battlestar Galactica.

The suit further alleges that repeated use of mind-control in Battlestar Galactica is patent encroachment on Scientology's property. "Scientology basically perfected mind control," said Ted Jerged""the lawyer representing the church. "And we have ample proof for our case, just look at Katie Holmes."

The suit goes on assert that the "tremendous space-stations," the "freaky weird aliens," and that "one chick with the really shapely-space boobs who might actually be a robot but we aren't all that sure having not watched all of season one yet don't ruin it during the courtroom hearing, please" are all owned and managed by the Church and its subsidiaries.

Explained Scientologist B. Jergen, "See that, see that zoomy-awesome spaceship right there? It looks just like one of the DC-8s Xenu used to bring the thetans to earth." Jergen added, "This show also uses the trademarked concept of Earth."
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