“…that man is a blemish on the cosmos” — Thomas Ligotti, The Conspiracy Against the Human Race

“…a monster that kills everything it comes in contact with.” — Thomas Bernhard, Concrete

“It may even be indecent for family members to expect that person to continue living.” — David Benatar, Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence

BUENA PARK, CA — As Kanye West’s pro-Trump Twitter activity galvanized public interest this week, Hannah K. Smith—also known by her online alias, xX1D_LUVR89Xx—was ecstatic about newfound support for the Trump x Kanye fanfiction she has been writing for years.

“This is definitely support that my ship is 100% canon. I’ve known since 2009, when Trump tweeted about the VMAs, that there was something between those guys,” said Smith, the author of the popular online work The West’s Wings, the tale of a forbidden relationship between West and Trump in the White House. 

Liberal pundits keep talking about how President Donald Trump has undermined American democracy by defying the norms that keep the government running. So what are these norms? And why do we care? Who is the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, and what does he do?

Without further ado, these are the top 7 norms that Trump has undermined:

1.     Norm of Mutual Toleration

November 8, 2016 (Election)—WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?

November 9, 2016 (The morning after)—FUCK. Deep breaths. FUCK. Breathe in. FUCK. Breathe out. FUCK.

November 10, 2016 (Clinton spotted in woods)—Come the fuck back.

January 11, 2017 (Obama gives his farewell address)—FUCKING STAY.

January 20, 2017 (Inauguration)—FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

January 21, 2017 (Spicer lies about crowd size)—Okay we have the fucking picture right in front of us.

WASHINGTON—Earlier this week, sources uncovered the essay that won over the College of Electors in the most recent presidential application cycle. The essay contained 100 scribbles of “#MakeAmericaGreatAgain” in letters that were considered “YUGE” by linguistic experts.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Paul Ryan

Looking like you’re in a slump.

Chris Christie here’d love to be you, Paul Ryan

Even when brown-nosing Trump.

There’s no man in town as reviled as you

You’re everyone’s least fav’rite guy.

Everyone’s not reconciled with you

And it’s not very hard to see whyyy!

No

One

Lies like Paul Ryan

Justifies like Paul Ryan

Doesn’t care about poor people's lives like Paul Ryan.

For there’s no man in town half as spineless

Perfect and credibly white.

Following a series of news reports surrounding President Donald Trump’s unfounded accusation that President Barack Obama was wire tapping the then Republican presidential nominee, the ghost of Richard Nixon published the following statement: