Mather sophomore Ernie Jacobson has found it hard to believe that blockmate Julia Frinkle can’t believe that sophomore year is almost over, and that, by extension, junior year has almost begun. 

Julia’s Facebook status, “OMG, TWO YEARS DOWN ALREADY??  I can’t believe we are almost JUNIORS! Thanks everyone for a great year! ” indicated to Ernie that Julia is having difficultly understanding that she is, in fact, almost a junior.  

Despite a warm invitation from her alma-mater Harvard College, award-winning journalist Soledad O’Brien has turned down the opportunity to be this year’s Class Day Speaker, citing concerns that she was unfit for the occasion, and suggesting that “Cee Lo Green should be Class Day speaker, not me." 

LAGOS, NIGERIA -- Oluwafemi Oleowo '14 heads back to campus today after a harrowing 6 day period of being stranded in his home country. Oleowo, [pronounced o-lay-o-woah] the prince of a small municipality in southern Nigeria, decided to take a last minute trip to his kingdom to catch up on the state of affairs, meet with government officials, and most of all get some well deserved R&R.

From the Desk of President Drew Gilpin Faust:

Members of the Administration, Resident Deans, and the Faculty,

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

Satire V: How does your organization feel about Tyga performing at Yardfest tomorrow?

Harvard Basketball Team: Tyga's coming?? Aww, sick man! I love that dude's cereal! I used to have it like every day before practice in high school. Yo! Tell Tony I say hi!