Plano, Texas- With Thanksgiving approaching, animal rights activists have gained new wind in attempting to curb animal cruelty, going so far as to infiltrate factory farms to obtain footage. Their reported findings are, allegedly, beyond belief.

 “It was just beyond belief,” began trembling lead activist Kyna Shepherd, “Turducken farms are FUCKED UP. You, like, would think that they make the turduckens after they kill the birds. No. No. No they don’t. Aw, I just feel dirty.”

After the People’s Republic of China announced its most recent American knock-off, the Chinese Thanksgiving, the government introduced the holiday’s new signature dish: the Chinese turducken.

However, the worldwide environmental community has expressed outrage after scientists analyzed prototypes of the Chinese turduckens and found traces of Liger, Panda and Snow leopard.