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Scientists Find Endangered Animals Inside “Chinese Turducken”

Despite the backlash, the Chinese turducken is delicious, especially when served with a side of repression and corn.

After the People’s Republic of China announced its most recent American knock-off, the Chinese Thanksgiving, the government introduced the holiday’s new signature dish: the Chinese turducken.

However, the worldwide environmental community has expressed outrage after scientists analyzed prototypes of the Chinese turduckens and found traces of Liger, Panda and Snow leopard.

“Next thing they’ll find in there is the Republican Party,” jested Vice President Joe Biden who, after some scolding from advisers, added, “But actually, this turducken isn’t anything to be thankful for.”

However, the Chinese government defended its culinary creation.

“They’re fun. You don’t know what will be inside, just like those Chinese-American fortune cookies. Except the lucky numbers inside this cookie might be last numbers of a species on this planet,” said China's State Council Premier, Wen Jiabao.

“Given China’s recent track record with endangered species, these results are hardly a surprise,” said environmental scientist Joe Palmer. “We also found traces of Dodo bird and unicorn in the turduckens as well—obviously products of China’s genetic experimenting with plants and animals to feed its growing population.”

PETA was outraged by the creation and called for an American embargo against China. In response, the People’s Republic sent the animal rights organization a turducken containing a fortune cookie. It was revealed that the fortune read, “Don’t worry. Be happy. PETA is just a type of bread anyway.”

“…in bed,” added Vice President Joe Biden, chuckling to himself.



© 2012