Though impossible, Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James has a 100.3 ± 0.2 % chance of representing the Eastern Conference in the 2019 NBA Finals according to our prophetic Excel spreadsheet models. As Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert once wittily noted, “LEBRON UR A BIG FAT MEANIE and ARE RUINING the league.”

Alright, guys, I fucked up with the election. But you know what’s going to save my reputation? This Harvard-Yale bullshit. If I get this right, we can basically call it even, right?