A Guest Editorial by Dean Evelynn Hammonds

In my eleven years at Harvard, I have often asked myself: What would The Crimson staff writers do? I looked to them for news, opinions, and even fashion tips, so when The Crimson told me it was time to quit, I knew I just had to trust them.

Since the truth came to light this Tuesday, I know that The Crimson has spent many long minutes reviewing the facts. What I did was wrong, and after reading I understand that. I should not have told anyone about the second email search.

Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Sometimes I eat in class. 

By now, we’re all familiar with the antics of the man calling himself The Messiah. What you may not know about are the devastating effects his carelessly executed “miracles” are having on the local economy. My name is Samuel. I’m a decent, hardworking fisherman, and I’m writing to tell you that Galilee simply cannot afford to keep this public menace around.

HarperCollins Publisher promises readers a tale of an “energetic host run ragged by his guest” as they tumble through the pages of this “delightful book.” Delightful, it appears, is a subjective term. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie offers a thinly masked political agenda in support of bourgeoisie. Indeed from the very first page, it establishes the parasitic relationship between the host and unexpected guest.

Point- I'm fucking starving and Annenberg closed at 7:30.

Counterpoint-The muffin kind of seems dry, though.

Point- It hasn't been out for that long. It was fresh when I got it from ABP.

Counterpoint- ….two weeks ago?

Point- I love raisins.

Counterpoint- No you don't.

By Rick Santorum

DETROIT, MI -- Thank you! Thank you. Yes, it’s a great night to be in Detroit, ladies and gentlemen, the city where the American dream was designed and manufactured.  Thank you!

Ladies and Gentlemen: I know what the automotive industry means to you – many of your families have worked on American cars and trucks for generations, and that’s just fine. That’s great, in fact.  America needs transportation, and America needs you. 

 But my fellow Americans – don’t you see the problem with this city?