SatireV

Breaking

and entering

After Reading The Crimson's Staff Editorial This Morning, I Have Decided to Resign

A Guest Editorial by Dean Evelynn Hammonds

In my eleven years at Harvard, I have often asked myself: What would The Crimson staff writers do? I looked to them for news, opinions, and even fashion tips, so when The Crimson told me it was time to quit, I knew I just had to trust them.

Since the truth came to light this Tuesday, I know that The Crimson has spent many long minutes reviewing the facts. What I did was wrong, and after reading I understand that. I should not have told anyone about the second email search.

In my darkest moment, I hope that my legacy will live on in the comments below that staff editorial, through time immemorial, joining the ranks of "Do Not Enroll," the unforgettable 2007 Fifteen Hottest Freshmen, and, of course, "Juniors Clean Rooms In Preparation of Upcoming Parents’ Weekend." It’s been an honor to serve, dear Crimson.

 

© 2013
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