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Harvard Fencing Team Suffers Piercing Defeat

CAMBRIDGE, MA — After a piercing defeat by Brown, the Harvard fencing team has been foiled once again in what has become a season a(bout) accepting defeat. Though the year started off with a decisive blow against Cornell, Harvard had no time to sabre the victory, quickly losing to Columbia, Duke, and Yale, making their aspirations for an Ivy Championship a feint hope. 

“We’re pretty piste off, honestly,” remarked team captain Kim Pale '17. “We took a good stab at it, but after all the work we put in we came out looking pretty lamé.”

Selling HY ticket... please email me... please :(

Hi There!

Just another Quincy Penguin selling his Harvard-Yale ticket. I am totally selling it for normal reasons like everyone else, and I am definitely not selling it just because I haven’t seen a fellow human being in 3 days and this is the perfect excuse to exchange awkward smiles.

$70 OBO.... message me if interested. Please. I'll give the money to charity or whatever; I just really need human contact right now. It’s not my fault all my classes are videotaped and I have fused into my dorm-room chair like the crew of The Flying Dutchman.