CAMBRIDGE, MA — After refusing to endorse the Republican Presidential Candidate for the first time in 128 years, The Harvard Republican Club has withheld their support from many other things as well. Satire V has obtained an exclusive leaked list of other things the Harvard Republican Club has just recently refused to endorse:
- Shoes without bootstraps
- People who show up to black tie affairs in business suits
- Off brand water crackers
- Foreign cheeses
- The field of gender studies
- Gender
- Chancellor Palpatine
- Linens with a thread count of less than 800
- Safe spaces (except for meetings of the Harvard Republican Club. And tents.)
- Calligula
- Eugenics
- Most instagram filters
- The Yale Republican Club
- Sitting next to people on the bus
- The bus
- Discussing money without euphemisms
- Sunny side up eggs
- West Egg
- Mulan (1998)
- Mulan (420-589 CE)
- Milan
- Bagel toppings other than smoked salmon
- The state of Vermont
- Hufflepuff
- Monopoly (board game)
- Polos without a popped collar
- Non-pastel shorts
- Any flag besides the American flag
- Liquor that comes in plastic bottles
- People without vacation homes
- White privilege
- The Wizard of Oz (person)
- The "+" in LGBTQ+ (the character)
- Pez
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