In a stunning come-from-behind victory, Joseph Kony, warlord (I-Uganda) and father of 71, has been elected the 45th President of the United States of America.
Cambridge resident Freddie Lou "Stonewall" Donovan, 47, walked out of William James Hall this morning still an unemployed man after his interview to become a confederate in a Harvard psychology lab turned south.
It started innocently enough, when Department of Veterans Affairs intern and Pforzheimer alumna Martha Phillipe ’10 suggested a department-wide game of “Assassins” to liven up the office’s dull social scene.
Taking a cue from Cold Stone Creamery, the International Monetary Fund, the European Union, and the European Central Bank are requiring the Greek government to sing one of several jaunty tunes whenever it receives a gratuity, in exchange for further monetary aid.
