SatireV

Breaking News

AREA MAN DROPS VASE
“Yep​, here I am,” said President Carter. “In the flesh.”
"As we return to our dorms and classrooms for the upcoming academic year, we should reflect, like the Cotton-Eye Joe of legend, on where we have come from and where we will go."
Did these phrases come from the Highest Court in the Land? Or Nowhere Land?
Fossil Fuels—which is actually not using fossils like dinosaur footprints and leafs as fuel, though that would be pretty neat—are harmful to the environment (environment comes etymologically from Carlyle’s translations of the German Umgebung for “the state of being environed, or surrounded”).

Harvard

"As we return to our dorms and classrooms for the upcoming academic year, we should reflect, like the Cotton-Eye Joe of legend, on where we have come from and where we will go."

Region

The actions of iminafirstgradeclub.com’s creators have thrown the club into crisis, with its once-anonymous members suddenly in the public eye.

U.S.

“Yep​, here I am,” said President Carter. “In the flesh.”

World

After years of contentious negotiations, Iran and the United States, along with five other powers, have established a potential framework for the outline of a possible means of splitting the check after they shared a meal at a D.C.-area Olive Garden.

Opinion

It’s time to talk about dismantling Harvard. Its existence is premised on exclusivity, which is central to its role in the American social landscape. Being a Harvard student signifies fitting into an elite social circle that rejects subpar classmates. Only abolition of Harvard will show true commitment to inclusion and respect.

Everything Else

Can you figure out which Sanders is behind each quote?