SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Winter Break

Student Home for Break Gives Up All Hope for Self-Improvement in Record Time

TRENTON, NJ -  Freshman Kevin Weaver may have gone home with exciting plans about all of the books he was going to read, emails he was going to send, and classes he was going to prepare for, but as soon as he stepped in the door of his New Jersey home, smelled his mom’s home cooking, and started petting his dog, all of those plans went out the window.

A "Friendly" Reminder from Your House Administrator

Dear Students,

Holiday season is here, and that means I am legally required to do room inspections.