Refreshing his LinkedIn page for the four hundred thirty-second time that evening, area high school senior Oliver Wright sighed with disappointment at seeing zero new responses to the post he made about his college acceptances.

“I don’t understand how my post only got 1 like,” he said. “No one loved, supported, or even green clapped to celebrate. I am devastated. How could my 500+ connections neither care about my major life achievement nor the adversity I faced getting there?” 

Professional networking site LinkedIn and dating app Tinder announced today that the two firms had merged in order to provide users with the "ultimate fusion of work and play." The new 'professional dating' site/app, called LinkedInder, allows people to network as never before. 

 

"We were initially looking for something more casual, but our interests just happened to match! Lets see where this leads..." a corporate officer from Tinder told Satire V.