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LinkedIn and Tinder Announce Merger

Professional networking site LinkedIn and dating app Tinder announced today that the two firms had merged in order to provide users with the "ultimate fusion of work and play." The new 'professional dating' site/app, called LinkedInder, allows people to network as never before. 
"We were initially looking for something more casual, but our interests just happened to match! Lets see where this leads..." a corporate officer from Tinder told Satire V.
"I am really looking forward to this paradigm-shifting professional partnership, and for our two firms to synergise our innovative strategies for the rapidly-emergent naughty networking market," said a LinkedIn executive.
LinkedInder users are expected to post a professional photo and their resume to their profiles, along with a nice bubbly description of what they are looking for. If two users swipe right on each other's profile, the app then facilitates a more intimate professional connection.
Users of both LinkedIn and Tinder have generally responded positively to the firms' announcement. "I sometimes felt that I just wasn't able to make a deep enough connection with people on LinkedIn, but the merger will enable me to explore my passions more meaningfully with like-minded individuals," said LinkedIn user Usman Khan. 
"In the past, I would never have swiped right for that greasy forty-year-old. But on LinkedInder, I've discovered that she actually works for JP Morgan, and have realised the importance of being open-minded when expanding my circle of contacts," said Tinder user Nicky Schwartz. 
The CEO of Grindr, which was also believed to be seeking a merger with LinkedIn, has expressed disappointment. "I thought negotiations were going really well, but then we sent them a brief snapshot of our assets and our rising stocks, and they didn't respond," he said sadly. 
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