Refreshing his LinkedIn page for the four hundred thirty-second time that evening, area high school senior Oliver Wright sighed with disappointment at seeing zero new responses to the post he made about his college acceptances.

“I don’t understand how my post only got 1 like,” he said. “No one loved, supported, or even green clapped to celebrate. I am devastated. How could my 500+ connections neither care about my major life achievement nor the adversity I faced getting there?” 

In his LinkedIn post, Wright listed the seven colleges he was accepted to: the University of Connecticut, Western Connecticut State University, Southern Connecticut State University, Eastern Connecticut State University, Northwestern Connecticut Community College, Central Connecticut State University, and Yale University. He ended the post by thanking his family, teachers, SAT tutor, SAT regrader, life coaches, squash coaches, pediatrician, Sal Khan, Kublai Khan, his hamster Buttercup, and the local fire department for their unwavering support in his college application process.

In addition to the single like from Buttercup's LinkedIn account, which Wright uses to stalk future employment opportunities, the post has not received any comments. Wright has been lamenting his lack of appreciation on the social media networking platform for the past 6 hours and between tears was overheard mumbling to himself, “not even a single ‘Congratulations, Oliver!’ or ‘What an achievement!,’ but they're prewritten for you?” 

Nonetheless, Wright is excited to head to Yale University with Buttercup in the fall, becoming the fifth generation of his father’s family to have attended. At press time, Oliver was reported to be eagerly googling hamster-sized Hillflint sweaters.