In a press release given this morning, the room without a roof stated that, contrary to the claims of noted psychiatrist Pharrell Williams, his day to day condition is not a useful barometer by which to measure happiness.

“I’m empty inside,” said the room. “I get that no one particularly wants to bare their furniture to the elements, but even a cheap futon every once in a while would be nice. Maybe some throw pillows. I don’t know.”