and entering

Room Without a Roof Does Not Feel “Happy”

Williams' critics have also begun to question the feasibility of space travel by hot air balloon.

In a press release given this morning, the room without a roof stated that, contrary to the claims of noted psychiatrist Pharrell Williams, his day to day condition is not a useful barometer by which to measure happiness.

“I’m empty inside,” said the room. “I get that no one particularly wants to bare their furniture to the elements, but even a cheap futon every once in a while would be nice. Maybe some throw pillows. I don’t know.”

The room confided in reporters that he often feels “exposed,” and that, in spite of Williams’ insistence to the contrary, there are quite a few things that can conceivably bring him down, among them “God willing this next gust of wind” and “a particularly merciful contractor.”

“You think I don’t want to clap along sometimes?” said the room, when asked whether he had tried to take Dr. Williams' advice. “I was never given that luxury. I don’t have hands.”

“Look. It’s great that, for you, happiness is the truth,” added the room after a brief pause. “But for me, pain is the only truth. Although, now that I think about it: peeling wallpaper as well.”

© 2014