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Goddoesn'twanthimeither

Karma Isn’t Real and That’s Why I’m Living For-Fucking-Ever

By: Henry Kissinger

Hey, you. Yeah, you, over there, with your ‘morals’ and ‘ethical qualms.’ I know you’re looking at me and thinking wow, how is that asshole still kicking? How does he look THAT good at the tender age of 96? There’s a simple answer: I’m going to live forever, and it’s because karma isn’t real. Yeah, sure, there are more obvious reasons: I’m rich, napalm is an exfoliant, the lifeblood of Southeast Asian children courses through my veins.