SatireV

Breaking

and entering

fall

What, Are These Not Autumnal Enough For You?

Look, here are some pears. I picked them up at the grocery store yesterday, and...and...hold on. What's the matter?
 
What, are these not autumnal enough for you?
 
Oh, I see. They're just pears, right? I'll have you know that Bosc and Comice pears are in season from fall through winter, so that sounds pretty goddamn autumnal to me.
 
Yeah, I could have gotten some pumpkins. Maybe even some fresh-picked apples. But I bought the damn pears and I'm sticking with them on principle.
 

Treebola Outbreak Spreads Rapidly through the Northeast

Cambridge, MA- The dreaded disease treebola has reached the United States. Health officials have urged the public not to panic, while emphasizing the severity of the crisis. “Several acres have reportedly been infected, the air around them has gotten chillier, and we have already begun to quarantine all infected trees in the region,“ said Dr. Margaret Chan of the World Health Organization. “We have never seen anything of this magnitude.”

Pumpkin Spice Lattes: Basic or Delicious?

Image credit: http://realchristianmcqueen.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/blonde-coffee-girl-latte-macchiato-longhair-favim-com-262308.jpg

 Pumpkin Lattes are Basic as Fuck: