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Elm Yard UC Candidate Promises Development Plan for Scotland


In his revolutionary one-paragraph candidacy statement released earlier this week, Undergraduate Council (UC) Freshman Representative candidate from Elm Yard, Tim Peterson, has unveiled a plan for the development of Scotland if the region votes to become an independent country.

 “My experiences as Student Council President in high school have helped me to understand the importance of diversifying Scotland’s economy away from over-reliance on oil, and have taught me that the new nation can balance its budget without cutting healthcare spending,” Peterson’s statement reads. He adds that he is a “man of action, who understands that we need to stop talking about change, and actually get things done.”  Peterson’s comprehensive plans also promise to “do something about the currency issue, and persuade Spain to let Scotland join the Eurozone using my skills from high school debate.”

While primarily running on a platform of Scottish development, Peterson also promises to make the water come out faster from Annenberg’s water dispensers, and decorate the walls of Weld basement with impressionist art. To support Peterson, many of his friends have changed their Facebook profile pictures to photos of themselves in kilts.

Recent opinion poll data shows that the release of the UC candidacy statements has caused a surge in the number of Scots planning on voting “Yes” in the referendum, with some polls showing that 90% of them are now in favour. However, as turnout in the UC election is likely to be below 50%, the decision will not be binding on the UC.

Peterson’s main competitor, Cameron Davison, has taken a rather different position on Scottish independence, promising free laundry and dinner in Annenberg till midnight if Scotland votes “No”.



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