Dear whatever,

Thank you so much for taking the time and energy to apply to The Signet. We are so sorry to inform you that unfortunately, you are not a real artist. We sincerely hope that you do not take this as an invalidation of your worth as a person, just of your worth as a creative person. It has been a privilege getting to meet you—through your four-paragraph statement, that one time you came to a fancy lunch, and your “art.”