SatireV

Breaking

and entering

trying is for chumps

Fourth Classes Tired of Being Called “Easy”

After a series of vicious rumors swept Harvard’s campus during the Fall 2017 shopping period, fourth classes have banded together to declare that they are not, in fact, “easy As.” GenEds of all distribution requirements have stated that they are fed up with the broad generalizations students make about them. In a written statement, the fourth classes said that they wish to increase awareness as to the harmfulness of the stigma.

Just Take the YHVH–damned A and Be Happy About It

Shaye Cohen

Hello everyone in CB23,

Over the past few months I have begun to notice some troubling goings-on in this class. It appears that some of you took it upon yourselves to study for my course. Several of you came to my office hours before the final examination looking stressed. Even beleaguered. In light of these developments, let me remind those of you who may have forgotten: everyone gets an A in Hebrew Bible.