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9 Signs Your Democratically Elected President is Totally a Dictator

So your country has snagged itself a new democratically elected president. Congratulations! However, you’re worried that he might actually be a dictator. Uh oh! Here are nine foolproof ways to tell if your democratically elected president is actually an autocrat:

1) He’s stopped initiating press conferences. During the campaign, your democratically elected president was constantly initiating press conferences. Now he’s retreated to his luxury Manhattan apartment and only communicates with the press via Twitter. That sounds like a dictatorial dealbreaker!

Report: Donald Trump Smells Bad

ITHACA, NY -- A new study by a group of scientists at Cornell University has proven that Donald Trump smells bad.
 
The study, conducted over the course of six months, was meant to dispel any persistent myths about the candidate's foul odor. However, the scientists were shocked by what they found.