SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Public Restrooms

Harvard Students ‘In the Dumps’ About Closing of Smith Campus Center Bathrooms

CAMBRIDGE, MA – The Harvard-operated public restrooms in the Smith Campus Center will be relieved of their duties in Spring 2016 after squeezing out over 30 years of service to the Cambridge community, according to Harvard spokesperson Portia Lynne.

“For a long time we were going back and forth, back and forth on this difficult decision,” wrote Lynne in an email, “But eventually everyone was so tense that we decided to take some time to relax before giving the final push this week to plot the last details right into place.”