and entering


Desperate Exchange Student Attempts, Fails to Tell Host Family About Parasite

        Tampa, FLMaria Bortsova, a visiting student at the University of South Florida’s College of Communications, was unsuccessful in her attempt during dinner last Friday to tell her host family about the organism that is currently feasting on her large intestine.

Uncomfortable Truths in Spanish Class

As Harvard’s introductory language classes approach midterms, many students are becoming increasingly skilled at expressing uncomfortable truths about themselves.

Parent Gives Child In-Utero Harvard Tours

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Area mother-to-be Kristen Marner gave her unborn son a tour of Harvard College this past Thursday, scrupulously setting him up for a life of disappointment.

 At around 11am, when most productive members of society were occupied with their careers and daily lives, Marner was spotted sneaking into a Chem 30 lecture to expose her fetus to the concepts of molecular orbital theory and pericyclic reactions.