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Internal Divisions Rack Owls

CHICAGO -- A recent observational study has revealed a growing rift between old and young male owls. According to ornithologists at the American Orinthologists' Union (AOU), parliaments of owls are facing some serious divisions.

“We are witnessing prolonged infighting among male owls in a way that has never been documented before,” said Dr. John James, an AOU ornithologist and expert on owl behavior. “Males are attacking each other, and it seems that the division is between older and younger owls.”

Lowell House Residents File Noise Complaint Against The Owl

Image credit: Ringware.com

Cambridge—Yesterday, residents of Lowell House Suite C-12 filed a noise complaint against the Owl Club. Located a stone’s throw from the club, the suite’s windows face east, receiving the brunt of its thumping beats and the enthusiastic dialogue of the building’s many frequenters.

The complaint comes one day after the club’s first punch event of the Fall, which in years past have come to be known as a coming of age event for bright sophomores and desperate juniors alike.