SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Harvard to Replace Al’s Café With Tent Serving Wonder Bread

The Assole Lunch Tent is projected to cover the area of four Au Bon Pain picnic tables. The actual Au Bon Pain picnic tables will be forcibly removed, along with the rest of Au Bon Pain.

Dear members of the Harvard community,

We have received several comments about Harvard’s recent decision to remove local restaurants like Al’s Café, Oggi Gourmet, and Clover Food Lab from the Richard A. and Susan F. Smith Campus Center in light of the construction that has begun to take place. Thank you for your ideas.

Many have expressed concerns that, while construction occurs, there will be fewer local options for lunch. Therefore, we are pleased to introduce a new initiative: the Ian Assole Harvard Square Wonder Bread Lunch Tent.

Located in front of the construction area, the $3 million Assole Lunch Tent will offer a variety of Wonder Bread products. Students will have the ability to choose from their variety of lunch foods. For those who enjoyed Al’s Café, there will be white bread. For those who ate at the vegan Clover Food Lab, there will be wheat bread. For those who would grab a slice of pizza at Oggi Gourmet, the Lunch Tent will have slices of melted cheese and a toaster. For those who would grab an organic burger at b.good, we will have Lunchables.

In coming years, we hope that the Assole Lunch Tent will form an integral part of Harvard’s Common Spaces program. To that effect, we plan to tape several signs to the outside of the tent that state, “This is a Common Space.”

The Harvard administration has made it clear that we welcome all feedback. We love hearing your thoughts and then choosing to ignore them.

Happy fall! 

Tanya Iatidris

Senior Director of University Planning

Image source: JasonParis/Flickr

© 2015
Category: