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Jeb Bush

Bush Runs for Office, Trips

COLUMBIA, S.C.--Earlier today, Jeb Bush tripped on the sidewalk on the side of a major thoroughfare, tumbling to the ground in front of stunned spectators. Bush reportedly overslept and missed his limousine ride to a South Carolina primary results watch party, forcing him to jog 2.3 miles to his campaign headquarters.
 

Jeb Bush Quietly Hangs Iowa Caucus Participation Ribbon on Refrigerator

After returning home early this morning following the Iowa caucuses, Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush softly used a magnet to adorn his refrigerator with a blue ribbon simply labeled: “PARTICIPANT.”  

Who Said It: Jeb Bush or the Black Knight?

Take Satire V's Newest Quiz! Match the quote to the public figure who's denying hemorrhaging losses!
 
  1. "I eat nails when I wake up, then I have breakfast."
  2. "Come on, you pansy!"
  3. "These polls really don't matter."
  4. " 'Tis but a scratch."
  5. "I'm invincible!"
  6. "I’ll come back and back and back."

Jeb Bush: Believe Me, I’m Tough

Recent allegations have surfaced that I am not tough. Ask anyone who really knows me though and you’ll hear the truth: I’m the hardest, meanest son of a gun ever to walk this earth.

I’ve always had a “don’t mess with me” attitude. In seventh grade I once fought a kid and beat him up so bad that he moved to another country where he can never be located or contacted or anything so don’t try to find him because you won’t be able to. No one saw it, but it happened. And I swear to God if he shows his face again I’ll send him to another solar system.