AN OFFICE — Citing frustration with his workload, Samuel Steele, a paper clip in a local office building, is reportedly having difficulty holding it all together. Steele is trying to remain in good shape while simultaneously meeting the high expectations for his work performance to no avail.

“All I see every day is another giant stack of papers I have to deal with,” the clip complained. “I keep thinking, I’m too full for this sheet! But I can’t even make a dent in the paperwork."

The weather is always notable. Casual Wednesdays? Nauseating. And people? People are expendable! Guess how many people have had the Corporate Consistency Agent position in the last month? Four. Oh wait, there’s another, because fucking Peter probably forgot to file his damn TPS reports again.