SatireV

Breaking

and entering

girl

I Am Not a Horse Girl, I Am a Centaur

My name is Jessica and I am just like you. I wear clothes, I live in a house, but I am also a centaur. Yes I am eight feet tall, yes I have a tail, and yes I am banned from Sweetgreen. However, don’t be mistaken, I am NOT a horse girl and I don’t associate with them. 

Advice Column: Ask That Girl Who’s Whispering Behind You In Lecture

Q:   I can’t figure out how to tell my parents I don’t want to come home for Christmas.  I love my family, but  they drive me crazy when we’re all together!  What should I do?