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Federal Bureau of Dads

Federal Bureau of Dads: Who Touched the Thermostat?

WASHINGTON D.C. - Pending further review, the Federal Bureau of Dads has yet to establish "who touched the fucking thermostat? Diane? Diane!"

Thermostat touching, a perennial issue for the Bureau, captured the attention of the nation this week, as concerns of "It's 71 fucking degrees in here!" and  "Who do you think is paying for this shit?" continued to mount.

The Bureau, in a rare official statement, emphasized the need for "Jesus Christ, Diane! Put on a sweater if you're cold!"