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Senate Passes H.R. 2529, Confirming There Are, Indeed, No Laws When One Is Drinking Claws

Some Republican Senators with their paws on the Claws with no laws!

WASHINGTON, DC—Late Saturday evening, following months of partisan gridlock, the Senate set aside its differences to unite for the common good. In passing H.R. 2529, the legislature has determined that there are, indeed, no laws that apply to a person who is currently in the process of drinking Claws.

The trending hashtag on Twitter, #whiteclawsnolaws, has been tweeted by figures across the political spectrum. Former Vice President Joe Biden does not know what Twitter is, but he did yell, “Number sign white claws no laws!” at a pigeon early last week.