Satire V has obtained exclusive copies of the first drafts of the now notorious emails between an Owl Club undergrad and member of the grad board. It seems both parties heavily edited their content before sending. 

JANUARY 15, 2015

Tech Support: To speak to a representative, please say, “representative.”

Hillary Clinton: Representative.

TS: This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes.

HRC: Honey, all calls are monitored, but it ain’t for quality—

TS: Hi this is Meredith speaking. How may I help you today?

HRC: Oh hi there Meredith! I’m having a bit of a problem with my private server and I was wondering if you could help a sister out.