and entering


CS 124 TFs Yet to Return Students' Souls

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In a shocking revelation on Monday, an anonymous CS 124 TF disclosed to Satire V that not a single student of last semester's notoriously difficult algorithms class has managed to recover their soul.

“Going into the course, I knew sacrificing my soul was a required component,” remarked Angela Park '17. “But I guess I just assumed it would be given back at the end. I mean, what kind of life is this?”

Sophomore Sets Record for Number of VES Classes He Has Been Rejected From

Cambridge, MA--- Still in the midst of shopping week, Harvard sophomore Tom Stepps has been rejected from three hundred and fifty seven classes in the VES department. “I thought if I applied to a bunch of them and had a decade of hands-on experience and interest in the visual arts, I could get in,” explained Stepps, “but clearly I should have thought more carefully in the interview about which films have inspired me most.”