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Child Learns Canada Isn't Real

On Thursday, at approximately 3:45 pm, Steve Windgate, age 9, returned home from school with a bloody nose and clothes covered in dirt. Mrs. Windgate, a Women and Gender Studies professor at nearby Galbraith College, immediately rushed to her son to find out what had happened.

            “I got in a fight with some kids at school.”

            Mr. Windgate, ponytail possessor and proprietor of local organic food store ‘Native Sigh’, demanded an explanation for the boy’s behavior.

Ex-Lovers China and Japan Child Custody Dispute Turns Ugly

After a nasty break up in 1937, they’re at it again. We all remember the notorious comment from the early 1600s when Dutch paparazzi asked Japan its relationship status with China and received the terse: “I’m really not that into China.  She’s really self centered. I’m definitely not making anything official.”

After years of toughing it out, in 1937 they made People magazine's list of worst breakups in history, just below the Goslings and just above Spears and Federline.