SatireV

Breaking

and entering

asshole

Hey! Just Wondering If You Had Any Time Today to Do Your Fucking Job

Hey there! Just reaching out to see where you are in finishing your part of the project that counts for 30% of our grade lol. I know you’ve been like super busy lately, or at least I assume that’s why you haven’t responded to any of us for the last four fucking days, but I just wanted to touch base with you and make sure everything is ok! :P And if you have time today, it’d be super awesome if you could do your goddamn fucking job.

Charming British Freshman Actually Just An Asshole

Even though he only arrived in Cambridge a few weeks ago; British freshman Alistair Collingsworth-Cripps is adored almost universally by the Harvard community. His charming smile, dashing wit, and delightful English accent have endeared him to men and women alike. But as enchanting as he may seem, some believe Alistair’s charming British exterior hides a terrible secret.

Behind those ill-cared-for teeth lies a tongue, says fellow freshman Phillip King, which is not so important as what lies behind it: the soul of a "total asshole".