SatireV

Breaking

and entering

yourprofwillstillassignwork

Harvard to Replace Spring Break with 7200 Intermittent “Wellness Minutes”

Hiker traveling along mountain trail

CAMBRIDGE, MA—After realizing that any sizable chunk of time resembling a spring break might offer too significant a relief from an online semester amidst a global pandemic, Harvard has announced that it will be reallocating the week as 7200 “wellness minutes” throughout the spring semester.