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After Rough Week, Nation's Mainstream Republicans Binge Watch NCIS

An average, everyday American settles in for a restorative NCIS marathon.
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA-- It was a wild week for the nation's mainstream Republicans. Scott Walker dropped out of the presidential race, House Speaker John Boehner announced his resignation from Congress, and Donald Trump now shares the GOP nomination lead with Ben Carson in the polls. Republicans have sought solace from this whirlwind in their favorite TV drama, NCIS.
"Whew! What a week," said Stu Henderson of Akron, Ohio, leaning back in an armchair and cracking open a can of Coors Light. "At least I know that, at the end of the day, Gibbs and the gang will always be there to crack the case."
Marie Jeffries of Greenville, South Carolina echoed Henderson's sentiments. "NCIS helps me take my mind off things--like the national debt," said Jeffries, sitting in a diner with a couple of pals. "Wow, that is a high number."
Young Republicans have also been reeling from this week's news. "Well, actually, I consider myself socially liberal but fiscally conservative," said University of Kansas student Ferris Jones, huddled with like-minded students around a dining hall table. "Personally, I like Chris Christie. He really tells it like it is, you know? Like Tony from NCIS. Boy, he gets into a lot of hijinks."
Some mainstreamers are even speculating about which big name is next to fall.  "I sure hope John McCain isn't next. I've always liked him," said Hank O'Hara while raking a pile of leaves. "He doesn't think Obama is a Muslim, but still disagrees with everything he does. That's my kind of guy. Plus, he kinda reminds me of Gibbs. Man, I love Gibbs."
© 2015