WASHINGTON -- As President Barack Obama prepares to hand off the presidency to businessman and birther conspiracy theorist Donald Trump, he sternly told the nation today that he's "not mad, just disappointed."

 

"Look, when I said my legacy was on the line in this election, I meant it," said Obama. "I didn't think you'd take this big of a shit on it, but now that you have, I want to let you know that I am capable of forgiveness."