Dear Members of the Harvard Community:

 

Fam, I'm gonna level with you. It's been a rough couple months for old Tommy D. My boy Skeech moved to Dallas to get a Master's in Video Game Development. Barreira wouldn't sign me off for medicinal pot because "dangerous surfeits of swag" isn't a "legitimate condition," apparently. Then to put the cherry atop this bullshit sundae, I bet some Owl douche 17 grand (which I may or may not have) that Andre 3000 would be the next president of Harvard, which in hindsight might have been a bad call.