CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Shocking many and disturbing some, area student Jacob Prescott was seen spending eight to nine hours lying down and doing literally nothing. Indeed, after assuming his initial horizontal position and closing his eyelids, he proceeded not to move for a whopping eight hours and 40 minutes until his eyes opened again. Despite having multiple final papers to complete and tests to study for during reading period, instead of going over practice tests or rereading material, Prescott seems to have chosen to spend this quite significant amount of time accomplishing literally nothing.
“I don't really understand how he thinks he can get away with slacking off like this,” confirmed Prescott’s perplexed roommate Roland Harrison ‘18. “I mean he's just lying there, isn't he? What is his problem? Doesn’t he realize he has a final coming up in five days?”
Prescott may indeed come to regret his decision in the coming weeks, as the hours he has spent will never come back.
“I expect all of my students to take my class seriously and study hard for the cumulative final,” said Trevor Collinsworth, professor of Math 636, one of Prescott’s courses this semester. “I am extremely disappointed to hear one of my students has chosen to spend his time in such an unproductive manner.”
The very next night, Prescott reportedly did the same thing AGAIN. Unbelievable!
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