and entering

Muslim Man Proceeds Normally Through Airport

The man in the turban is a Sikh, you bigot.

BOSTON, MA--Bystanders watched in stunned silence yesterday as Cambridge resident and practicing Muslim Jaleel Abassi proceeded normally through Logan Airport.

Abassi reportedly arrived in a taxi at 7:30 a.m. just outside of terminal D, holding a grande iced coffee from Starbucks in his right hand. He then retrieved his inexplicably average-sized suitcase from the cab and incomprehensibly proceeded like a normal person through the automatic doors towards security.

“I had to hold my breath as he calmly removed his shoes and placed them on the conveyor belt along with several other commonplace items,” said Boston local Susan Wheeler. “It was like something you’d only see in a movie.”

Several witnesses nearly fainted when Abassi was randomly not searched after walking through the metal detector. Many were also puzzled when all of his fluids were mystifyingly under the designated 3.4 ounces.

The baffling scene continued as the worshipper of Allah strolled towards his gate, casually glancing at the TVs in restaurants to see if he could catch the score of the Bruins game. 

“I’m just pumped to see my buddy Tom in Chicago,” Abassi told reporters before boarding his flight. 

At press time, a passenger was severely startled as Abassi buckled his seatbelt and secured his tray table in the upright position.


Image source: Juanedc/Flickr

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