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Really Jessica?

Infuriatingly Perfect Acquaintance Gets You Birthday Gift, so Now You Have to Send Her a Thank-You Note or Some Shit

woman
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Reports surfaced on Wednesday that Jessica E. Serrano '18, your maddeningly genuine acquaintance, not only remembered your birthday but also purchased a small gift to demonstrate her affection. That bitch. Finding something to send back to her so that you don't seem like a total dick is going to be such a headache.