SatireV

Breaking

and entering

That pocket too

I'm Going to Steal So Many Fucking Books

A book thief

By a Lamont Library Book Thief

It all started when I was six and accidentally walked out of the Pine Hills Community Library with a copy of Captain Underpants. I had forgotten to check it out, but when I got home and realized what I had done, I felt no remorse. Instead, I felt a rush. Ever since that fateful day when I got a taste of literary kleptomania, I’ve never forgotten just how good it felt.

Fast forward to October 30, 2017 and finally, my time has come. I can live out my lifelong fantasy of stealing every single goddamn book in Lamont Library.

Cabot Library Guards to Check Pita Pockets, Too

THE SCIENCE CENTER — Cabot library Securitas guards will now check students’ pita pockets as they exit, Harvard revealed Tuesday.

The university had already announced the arrival of Clover to the partially-renovated Cabot Science Library, and the local chain restaurant specializes in vegetarian sandwiches and sides that are often made with pita pockets.