To the Editors of The Crimson:
To aid in the furious thinking going on in the administration for a name to replace the title of "Professor Harvey C. Mansfield '53", Satire V would like to propose a College competition to decide a suitable replacement.
To start things off, we will offer a few possible new titles, including:
"Hunky Manslice";
"Husky Mensfeet";
"Hardly Meatfilled";
"Hippy Monsoon"; and
"Pompous, Condescending Marshmallow".
So as to avoid misgendering Mansfield, the Professor should be content with the names "Hunky Personslice" and "Husky Peoplesfeet", for example. We think that sounds pretty good.
Entries should be sent to an appropriate Dean.
Yours truly,
The Editorial Board of Satire V
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